Life is a wild and wonderful journey where we embark on countless adventures and build meaningful konnections. And if we’re truly blessed—live a life full of joy that emanates love and peace. If we stay woke, we’ll even stumble upon a bit of wisdom about ourselves and the world along the way!
However, more often than not, we put significant emphasis on finding our perfect match—the Romeo to our Juliet, the peanut butter to our jelly.
It feels like locking sights with a rare and glorious unicorn when we finally discover the person who gets us, who syncs with us in seemingly perfect harmony; and with whom we can share the stunning magnificence of life’s many spectacular moments.
Sure, that’s beautiful and all but we can’t go external until we go internal. The first person that we’re truly meant to accept, cherish and love deeply, begins with ourselves. No, this isn’t some narcissistic rambling. This is all about self-love!
Now, before we dive in and get to the meat and potatoes of self-love, I want to step back and really answer the question – why is looking inwards so very important?
Importance of Cultivating Self-Love
You’ve probably seen a wave of ‘self-love’ and ‘self-esteem’ related content flooding your social media feeds and various online platforms. They have become almost like buzzwords. But trust me, they are far from being just fleeting trends or digital fads.
Here’s the thing: self-love is the state of wholly accepting, appreciating, and loving oneself without conditions. The first step to achieving this is to love God and accept His love.
How do you do this?
Intentionality is how any relationship flourishes.
Intentional in the time we spend with Him.
Intentional in getting to know Him so that we may know more about ourselves.
Intentional in loving Him so that we may love ourselves.
In addition to konnecting with God, we have to implement activities, expressions, and exercises that optimizes mental and emotional welfare. This practice goes beyond deep-cleaning skin routines or hot yoga sessions. It’s about building a loving relationship with the person that matters most, and that’s you! Self-love underpins that sense of joy, value, and respect we ought to have for ourselves.
Self-love isn’t selfish. It means respecting our own worth, and manifesting love, kindness, and patience in our lives. Understand this, you can’t give away what you don’t have.
Tools to Increase Self-Love
Alright, we’ve established self-love is crucial for our wellbeing, but how does one go about strengthening it? Thankfully, there are tons of helpful tools and practices that we can incorporate in our day-to-day lives.
Stop Making Comparisons
We’ve all heard the saying: “comparison is the thief of joy.” Let me tell you, that aphorism isn’t wrong. Think about it for a second—how often have you found yourself spiraling down a rabbit hole of comparison and envy while scrolling through your social media feed? It’s easy to lose sight of our own value when we’re constantly pondering on glamourized fragments of other people’s lives.
Let’s drop the magnifying glass we hold to others’ lives and turn that attention onto ourselves—with full acceptance and gratitude. No, this isn’t about self-obsession. It’s about seeing our capabilities, imperfections, the whole package, as something uniquely beautiful.
Allow Yourself to Forgive
If there was a ‘forgiveness’ store, it’d be my favorite place to go! Ah, if only life were that easy! But jokes aside, forgiveness, especially towards ourselves, is something we all need to practice.
Forgiving ourselves and others frees us from inner conflict, shame, guilt, and that overall feeling of heaviness. When someone wrongs you, forgiveness isn’t saying that what they did was okay. Forgiveness is an intentional decision to let go of anger and feelings of resentment.
It’s no secret that life can be like a rollercoaster—we all stumble, mess up, and say the wrong thing. But, hey, that’s all part of the ride! We must extend this mercy to ourselves and others.
When things become a bit tangled up—forgive but don’t forget. Remember your mistakes enough to learn from them, but not so much that it impedes your growth. The story of your past cannot be rewritten, but the narrative of your future is in your hands. Let go of past mishaps, make peace with them, and focus on writing the next chapters of your life.
Acknowledge How You Feel
Let’s not be the Ostrich burying its head in the sand, ignoring whatever doesn’t serve us in the moment. Emotions, no matter how menacing they may seem sometimes, need to be acknowledged! Ignoring emotions, well, that’s like hiding a ticking time bomb in your pocket, never knowing when it’s going to explode.
Feel your feelings, my friends. Yes, even the ugly ones—the anger, the sadness, the disappointment. Let them be there, sit with them, talk to them if you have to (don’t worry, we won’t judge). And most importantly, release them to God in prayer. It’s only when we truly accept our feelings and process them in truth, that we’ll grow.
Make Time for Yourself Each Day
Do you ever feel like all you do in your waking hours is run around, ticking off tasks on your to-do list; with little time left for yourself? If you’re a parent, it’s homework, meals, and after-school activities while concurrently, working a full-time job, maintaining laundry, and a clean home. Oh, I feel you, friend. But here’s the clincher—we need to make ourselves a priority, too.
Whether it’s a little ‘me-time’ spent in prayer or meditation, fluttering away in the pages of a good book, getting lost in nature on a solo hike, or simply sitting in stillness and drowning out the noise of the world; time spent with yourself is time well spent. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup so fill yours up first!
At the end of the day, finding self-love is a journey—filled with heartache, laughter, lessons, and a whole lot of soul-searching. And guess what? Every bit of it is worth it.
So, if you’re single and standing alone on this path, just remember; embrace yourself, understand your worth, and love yourself deeply. Because if there’s one human love that we need, it’s the one we have for ourselves. As the saying goes, “fall in love with taking care of yourself, because at the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment.”
-Konnected